February 23, 2010

Thou shalt not wash food processor blades by hand. Thought I was going to need stitches...

February 4, 2010

Every now and then you need to get your Macgyer on. Staplers, duct tape, electric tape, gum, pencil erasers, safety pins, string, super glue, whatever is handy - you won't be able to rescue a kidnapped heiress or anything, but damn if you won't give your self-esteem a big old boost for your vast amounts of creativity.

February 3, 2010

To anyone who works in a cubicle farm: please don't eat ANYTHING odiferous at your desk. If you should choose to ignore my advice, then prepare to be smacked upside the head.

February 2, 2010

When old man winter dumps snow upon you, remember two things. 1) Shovel that sh*t AND 2) SALT the ground afterwards. If ye forget that second step, people shall fall upon their a$$es, and said people might come and kick yours.

February 2, 2010

Wow. I totally suck. Had no idea it'd been so long since I posted something. Let's dive right in. If you are the manufacturer of a certain anti-depressant medication (that shall remain nameless because I don't want to get my a$$ sued), see if you can't manage to make it so that it doesn't cause massive weight gain. You see, being fat tends to make people depressed.